Here’s how to respond to meanness wrapped in pretty words of compliments
You might not even know you are given a backhanded compliment cause for hours or even days before your brain sees it in its true colours. Backhanded compliments aren’t just fake compliments. It’s more mean and not as direct and a form of micro-aggression. It seems like a compliment when you hear it first but has hidden insult in it. If you are told “You look really nice when you put an effort” or “Your Instagram page makes your life so interesting”, it isn’t as sincere as it sounds. Backhanded compliments are mean-spirited and often reflects the speaker’s own issues and insecurities. But if you are on the receiving end of the “compliment” it might rub you the wrong way and hurt your feelings.
No all relationships have the scope of mocking, making fun of each other as long as it is mutually agreed and not done to hurt each other’s feelings. But, we as people, can tell when a compliment is meant to be hurtful than funny. You can choose to brush it off or confront the speaker if it becomes a habit rather than a seldom thing.
So here are ways to deal with sugary worded insults or backhanded compliments.
State your boundary
Assess how you feel about the backhanded compliment. If you rattles you, state clearly how it makes you feel and how the speaker should refrain from paying compliments. State the repercussions “If you make a compliment like this in the future, I will walk away”.
Point it out
The easiest way to stop such backhanded compliments is to simply point it out. Saying things like “That did not feel like a genuine compliment and sort of an insult” will make it known that you are onto them if they did it intentionally.
Respond with kindness
A simple “Aww, thank you” will throw them off. Yeah, they might think you don’t understand the backhanded compliment but you got no time to waste.
You could always ignore it
It is a good tactic if someone is trying to work our emotions by giving a backhanded compliment. Ignoring it will not give them the power to work you.
Keep it funny
If you can’t let the “compliment” slide but don’t want to make things tense just keep it funny. So if someone says “You look great for your age”, just say “Surely better than you at your age Lmfao”.
Compliment them back
Throw them off guard with a compliment. Gave you a back handed compliment like “You sure will do better now that you are promoted” tell them something like “Surely you would so much better”
